Thanks, but no thanks.

There is a Chinese saying that dictates: 'Anything that walks, swims, crawls, or flies with its back to heaven is edible'. Of course, edible doesn't necessary mean desirable. 

Much as I love Chinese cuisine, there are a few aspects of the Chinese kitchen that I find extremely hard to stomach. Here's a few local specialties that won't be finding their way past my lips. 

1. Dog

Admittedly, there is a lot wrong with this picture...but the smoked dog (far right) takes the cake

Ok...maybe, MAYBE if I were invited to someone's home and served dog meat I would eat it so as not to offend the host. But I will never order it voluntarily and dog-carcass-jerky remains one of the most disturbing things I have seen in China. 

2. Turtle

There are lots of horrendous things that are done to turtles in China. Street vendors sell keyrings of live baby turtles in plastic bags...

And turtle soup makes an all-too-frequent appearance on menus around the country. At least it's nigh on impossible to mistake this for chicken:

3. Anything involving penis

T-bone? Rib-eye? Porterhouse? Nah, fuck it....I'll have the penis thanks. I hear it's good for virility. 

4. Anything I've petted on the way to my table

Like these poor bastards. I can't read their neck-tags but it doesn't take a genius to know their day is done. 

5. Flat Pig Face

I'm not really a fan of pork at the best of times. This is just grotesque.