The Rum Diaries Part LI

What do you know? Rum tastes awesome in Melbourne too! We just picked up this sensational little number from the Chapel Street cellars- Chairman's Reserve from the tiny Caribbean island of St. Lucia- and it has quickly made its way into my top five. 

Chairman's strikes the perfect balance between smoothness and bite and doesn't overdo it on the vanilla undertones. At $54 a bottle it's pretty reasonable (by Australian standards...meaning it's way fucking overpriced) so I think this one will be adorning our bar regularly. Mmmm, sometimes it just feels good to be home. 

The holy-shit-we're-almost-home edition.

Sorry everybody. Not only am I fucking exhausted after spending 12 hours in shit airports and even shitter airplanes, but I am also kind of drunk after skulling four cans of Carlsberg to celebrate the last night of what has been a truly amazing trip. 

So rather than attempt to sum up the last 868 days in any meaningful kind of way, I'm going the easy way out and working the 'a-picture-speaks-a-thousand-words' option. 

Once again, a big loved up thank you to all our friends along the way- from road-tripping Argentinean buddies to San Ignacio fiesta compadres; from coco-loco sipping Scrabble players to late night shit-talkers in Popayan; from our rum-drinking piratey shipmates and lao-lao drinking, kayaking Swiss friends to the surprise New Years San Fran team...to Peter & Leontien who are such fab mid-trip meet-up friends and interested rum-factory-tour-members. 

You guys (and many others) made our trip extra special and we hope to see you again somewhere. Happy travels wherever you are and you are always welcome in Melbourne!!!

1. Argentina- 38 days- AUD$86 per day

Gauchos at Cafayate's 25 de Mayo (Independence Day) celebrations

2. Bolivia- 88 days- AUD$70 per day

The Festival of San Ignaxio de Moxos 

3. Peru- 50 days- AUD$80 per day

Hiking the gorgeous Cordillera Blanca 

4. Ecuador- 31 days- AUD$81 per day

Cuy- guinea pigs on the spit near Mitad del Mundo

5. Colombia- 85 days- $92 per day

Salsa, beer, more salsa- Feria de Cali

6. Panama- 15 days- $90 per day

Ox-Alien paints Bocas del Toro

7. Costa Rica- 7 days- $93 per day

Sneaky snake- in Cahuita on the Caribbean coast

8. Nicaragua- 33 days- $77 per day

- We're chillin' bro'- Little Corn Island

9. Guatemala- 28 days- $79 per day

Local market near Quetzaltenango

10. Cuba- 20 days- $123 per day

Cuba's finest- Vinales Valley

11. Europe (Netherlands, Scotland, France & Berlin)- 127 days- $95 per day

The Jewish Holocaust Memorial in Berlin

12. Russia- 23 days- $111 per day

Soviet monuments laid to rest in Moscow

13. Mongolia- 16 days- $113 per day

Our host and his son showing off some traditional Mongolian wrestling

14. China- 33 days- $85 per day

Woman walking the city walls in Fenghuang

15. Laos- 51 days- $68 per day

The tiered roof of Wat Mai in Luang Prabang

16. Thailand- 68 days- $61 per day

Wat Phra That Doi Suthep in Chiang Mai

17. Cambodia- 25 days- $71 per day

The Killing Fields, Phnom Penh

18. Myanmar- 18 days- $71 per day

Worshippers at the Shwedagon Pagoda in Yangon

19. Malaysia- 65 days- $73 per day

Old & New: the Petronas Towers viewed from Kampung Baru, the city's oldest district

20. Indonesia- 60 days- $72 a day

These were by no means the youngest children we saw on mopeds....Lombok

These are a few of my favourite volcanoes...

Indonesia has 127 active volcanoes....and god only knows how many dormant or extinct peaks. Basically every peak you see is (or was) a volcano. But we never get sick of looking at them.

Tiny Lombok is home to the enormous Gunung Rinjani, at 3726m it's Indonesia's second highest volcano and is sacred to the Balinese and Sasak people. 

Merapi Volcano (2891m) is Sumatra's most active (the name means Mountain of Fire), no mean feat on such an unstable island. We never saw the peak of this one...always covered in clouds. 

Gunung Inerie is the highest peak on Flores (2245m) and wins the award for pointiest cone. The northern side is covered in ash, the southern side in vegetation....so no prizes for guessing which side you want to be on if (when) it erupts.

Lombok to Flores by boat (or when dragons prove to be the least of your worries)

Sailing from Cartagena to Panama was one of the highlight's of our year in Latin America, so when we heard about boats traveling between Lombok and Flores, we decided to sail our second sea and get in on the Indonesian version of life aboard. 

About a week before we were due to depart, another tourist vessel sunk off the coast of Sumbawa Besar, stranding 20 odd tourists (and leading ultimately to the presumed death of two Spanish men) and casting serious aspersions on Indonesia's already questionable maritime safety record. 

We weren't exactly feeling confident about our choice- especially after trying to contact the company for about a week and hearing nothing but conspicuous silence. But after asking around, we learned that Kencana Adventures was NOT in fact the one that had sunk (apparently they just have shit customer relations skills) and our cruise would depart as scheduled.

Everyone else on our boat had of course heard about the accident, so there was much checking of lifejackets, life boats and general equipment once we got on board. We left Labuan Lombok on Thursday afternoon, sailing east for our first overnight stop near the island of Gili Bola. 

Sailing is so beautiful when the water is calm, it comes as quite a shock to realize just how horrendous is becomes when the weather picks up. On the afternoon of the second day we were chilling at the stern (oops- bow) of the boat, playing cards and drinking beers, when it became apparent that the waves were getting bigger, the sky getting darker, and everybody's faces getting paler. By 6pm the ship was pitching and rolling badly, a lot of people had progressed from white to green and jokes about shipwrecks were no longer funny. Dinner was hastily served (and eaten by a few) and then the crew set about strapping everything that moved down, handing out sea-sickness pills and helping staggering tourists onto their mats for what proved to be an insanely long night. 

The one positive thing about sea-sickness is that it makes it impossible to think about anything apart from just how wretched you feel. So while the few people who weren't sick were terrified, I was just miserable. The crew spent all night on watch and were clearly concerned; two of them were actually sick as well which made me feel less like a pathetic land-lubber. 

At one point the French girl beside me told me she was going to get life jackets and grabbed one for me as well. Water was sloshing in over the sides of the lower deck. Still, the whole thing felt kind of surreal and like I said...intense nausea has its benefits. 

When morning finally broke in the morning, we were all looking pretty fragile. The sea had subsided somewhat and we were in sight of land. Shipwreck jokes were back on the table. Banana pancakes were gingerly forced down. We were afloat. The worst was over. Life was good. 

We sailed into the glassy waters surrounding Gili Laba and disembarked for a hike up to a lookout point. Dry land felt really, really good beneath our feet and the views were stupendous enough to wipe out memories of the previous night.

That afternoon we continued to Komodo Island, home to the eponymous Dragon. Although they're impressively huge, the dragons were also practically comatose so we didn't get a sense of just how frightening they can be...that is, until a guide showed us a photo of another guide who had his leg bitten by one. Cue gradual backing away from comatose dragons.

Maintaining the recommended 7m distance from Komodo!

After dragon hunting we sailed to a beautiful, sheltered bay where we enjoyed an almost motionless nights sleep under the stars...bliss.

Hiking on Rinca Island

We woke up bright and early on our last morning and headed off to Rinca Island, home to more Komodo Dragons (which are apparently more aggressive than on Komodo proper) and even more spectacular views.

Then it was time for more snorkeling at yet another gorgeous deserted beach....and sailing the final leg to Labuanbajo where we all disembarked in time for a fast shower and a sunset celebratory beer in town.

But not before we all said a huge thank you to the awesome crew from Kencana- not only did they keep us alive, but they fed us, caught us squid and probably even held a few people's hair back as they threw up overboard. In short, they totally earned their tip.  Thanks!!!

The Art of Honking

When someone honks their horn in Australia, it pretty much means one thing: fuck you arsehole, get the fuck out of my way- and is almost always accompanied by a demonstrative finger gesture.

However in many other parts of the world, they employ a highly nuanced and sophisticated range of honking, tooting, beeping and blaring to convey a range of complex communications; such as: 

1. "Hello!! I am coming up behind you and don't wish to startle you!"

2. "Excuse me, I am about to overtake you" 

3. "Not a problem fellow road-user! Please proceed with caution and try not to hit that cow"

4. "Sorry!! I know I am in your lane, but there was an opportunity to overtake on a blind corner and (chuckle) I simply couldn't resist!"

5. "I am about to change lanes and I thought I'd save you the trouble of using your rearview mirror!"

Plus a whole range of other subtleties that I am still trying to fathom. In fact, about the only time the horn is not used is in anger which makes road rules very easy to learn!!

Do whatever you think is best under the circumstances but for god's sake, HONK, just to let everyone know what it is you're up to. 

Danau Maninjau- another day, another crater lake in Northern Sumatra

Surrounded by soaring, steep and densely forested cliffs, Danau Maninjau is even more beautiful than Danau Toba, and since it is also much smaller (just 70km around the lake) it's also much easier to visualise the former explosive life of this extinct volcanic peak. 

The approach to the shore of the lake involves a descent through a whopping 44 hairpin bends (they're numbered- I didn't count them), which according to the tourist information require "very special skills" to navigate safely. This translates to being able to wrench the car around tight curves with one hand, whilst juggling a cellphone and cigarette in the other. Luckily, most Indonesians start driving at the tender age of seven, and start smoking around a year later...so they have ample practice in multitasking behind the wheel. 

The scenery around the lake is stunning; impossibly green rice paddies, groves of cacao and coffee, water buffalo ploughing the fields and decaying mosques in every village.

We hired a moped to cruise around the lake on Sunday- which also happens to be the day of the week for getting married. On our 70km drive we saw seven weddings- and were lucky enough to score an invite to one!

We had stopped to check out the bridal couple and before we knew it, were being invited in to sample the wedding feast (delicious) and listen to traditional music (much, much better than anything I have heard on overnight Indonesian buses). 

Most of the guests were more interested in us than they were in the bride, which pretty much accounts for her grumpy face. Sorry bridey : (

If I was Indonesian, I'd be Batak.

After a grueling ten days toughing out Ramadan and Idul Fitri in Aceh province, it was rather a relief to arrive on the shores of Danau Toba and get reacquainted with a more hedonistic way of life, thanks to the local Batak people. 

The five hour minivan ride from Medan was particularly awful- loads of holiday traffic, a sadistic driver and reconditioned interior which meant 20 people could be crammed into a 12-seater- so we were pretty happy when we finally arrived at our guesthouse and found ourselves staying in a traditional Batak house, right on the shores of the lake. 

Danau Toba is the largest lake in South-East Asia and was formed when one of Indonesia's myriad volcanoes erupted in spectacular fashion about 75,000 years ago, creating a 1700sq km caldera. The Batak people originally migrated from Thailand & Myanmar and settled the lake region where they lived in isolation for centuries. Famous for their ritual cannibalism practices, the Batak repeatedly repelled attempts by their Muslim neighbours to conquer and convert. It was only in the early 1800's that Christian missionaries successfully gained the trust of local Batak kings and convinced communities to give up cannibalism in favour of God. Although Batak people today are Protestant Christians, they still maintain some ancient animist beliefs and rituals. 

Elaborate carving on the facade of Batak houses keep out evil spirits

The Batak people had a unique (and presumably extremely effective) justice system- anyone accused of a crime was brought before the king and other senior community members and judged according to the evidence. If found guilty of a serious crime (murder, rape or theft), the accused was sentenced to death...but first they would be cut and have lemon, chili or garlic rubbed into their wounds. After being beheaded, the organs were removed, cooked and eaten by the king and community. Yikes.

The Stone Chairs- where all the big decisions are made!

Batak people are big into music and tuak (palm-sap wine)- so we get along like a house on fire. We dove straight into the non-Muslim delights of cold Bintang beers and wild-boar rendeng and are luxuriating in being able to snack at all hours of the day. 

For a country renowned throughout the world for its hardline approach to drugs, it's surprising just how widely mushrooms and weed are available. Martijn is like a magnet for all the local stoner dudes- it seems chops and tattoos equal copious drug-use in Indonesia- so we turn down countless offers of intoxicating substances every day. 

We'd originally planned to be on the move tomorrow but all the buses to Bukittinggi are booked out...so looks like my 34th birthday will be spent drinking tuak with the Batak! Hurrah!

Selemat Idul Fitri

The Muslim fasting month of Ramadan ran from 28 June to 28 July this year; during this time Muslims are forbidden to eat, drink or smoke from dawn to dusk. We spent the majority of the month in Malaysian Borneo, where the huge Chinese population (around 40% or higher) meant that eating at any time of the day was never a problem. Often Muslim- run restaurants would continue to cook throughout the day for their Chinese customers. 

Here in Aceh province, in northern Sumatra, it means lots of crackers and two minute noodles...interspersed with the occasional proper meal eaten discreetly behind closed doors. The province has Sharia Law and is probably the toughest place to be in Indonesia if you are a hungry infidel. 

The end of Ramadan is celebrated with the Idul Fitri feast day; a major national holiday that sees Indonesia's Muslim population return to their native villages to seek atonement for any sins committed over the course of the year and cleansed by the Ramadan fast. Since Indonesia is home to some 200 million Muslims, the holiday means traffic chaos, overbooked accommodation and general madness whenever you try to get from A to B. 

Rather than try and brave the chaos, we decided to sit tight on Pulau Weh, an island off the northernmost tip of Sumatra, and found ourselves a sweet little bungalow overlooking the reef for $7 a night. 

The guys who run the guesthouse here are cool- every evening as the sun goes down their friends gather to hang out, eat, drink and greedily suck down the cigarettes they are forbidden from smoking during the day. We are invited to share their food and drink nightly; we reciprocate with cake and vodka/tonics (which are a huge hit).  As with any religion, there are varying degrees of observance- some have only made it through a few days of proper fasting, others don't mind a beer at the end of the day, some are more strict and keep the fast devoutly. 

We woke up exited this morning about the end of Ramadan and the freedom to chow down at any time of the day again- unfortunately Idul Fitri is a feast day only for those with families to cook for them. Absolutely nothing is open in the village this morning...so we're resigned to yet another noodle and cookie breakfast. Selemat Idul Fitri!!

Another trip down memory lane- St Petersburg versus Moscow

As we start to get closer to the end of our trip, we've grown a bit nostalgic for all the places we've visited over the last two years and I realised that although I was too lazy to write about them at the time, Russia's two greatest cities really do deserve a mention. 

St Petersburg is Russia's European face and its second biggest city with around 5 million people. It was founded by Peter the Great in 1703 and modeled on Amsterdam (hence the canals); like Canberra or Brasilia it was an entirely planned city that is obvious in the architectural consistency of its original buildings, a style known as Petrine Baroque. 

Comparing St Petersburg to Canberra may well draw the wrath of many a proud and patriotic Russian down on me so I should qualify this statement by saying that is where the similarities end. 

We arrived in St Petersburg on the first of October and were treated to bright (but extremely chilly) autumn weather. We were also lucky enough to have our stay coincide with the first Thursday of the month- when the Hermitage Museum flings open her impossibly ornate doors and welcomes the public free of charge- thus saving us almost $40!! 

After four days exploring St Petersburg we agreed that although we both loved the city it's probably a place better suited to big budgets. We spied many a cosy bar and hip restaurant but the eye-watering prices meant most of our meals were eaten in our hostel kitchen. 

St Petersburg also gets a special mention for having the most hardcore sunbathing enthusiasts I have ever seen. I swear it can't have been more than about 7° when we saw these two girls sitting beside the Neva River in their bikinis. Those crazy Russians!!!

From St Petersburg we took an overnight train to Moscow- our first experience in a platskaart (third class) Russian sleeper!! We bought a few beers on board to celebrate the start of our Trans-Mongolian adventure. 

 

Moscow is Russia's capital and biggest city, with about 12 million people. Apparently it has the largest number of billionaire residents in the world and (we soon discovered) is rated the second most expensive city in the world. We arrived early in the morning, dumped our bags at our hostel and went for a coffee. Rather stupidly, we ordered without looking at a menu first and only realised when the girl brought our bill that we had just paid AUD$6 each for a tiny cup of black coffee. Welcome to Moscow. 

While St Petersburg seemed like a warm and welcoming place, Moscow gave us the cold shoulder. It's the kind of place where you really need a local person to show you its hidden charms. Our visit to the city coincided with the start of the Sochi Winter Games and sadly Red Square was shut down for the duration of our stay- the large police and army presence didn't really improve the overall vibe. 

 

Having said that, we had a great time checking out the standard tourist attractions- the Kremlin, St. Basil's and Christ Our Saviour Cathedral. Our favourite was the Garden of Fallen Monuments, where communist-era statues have been laid to rest in a pretty park that lines the Moskva River and is a popular place for Sunday strolling.

 

Our other favourite thing about Moscow is the metro, which is not only one of the world's most heavily used and extensive networks, but surely the most beautiful, with many stations resembling ballrooms more than public transport hubs. 

Moscow also enjoys the distinction of having the world's largest population of underfed woman on staggeringly high heels. Just how these girls stay upright is the source of some amazement, since most of them look to be damn-near starved and Moscow's cobbled streets pose serious challenges even for sturdy walking shoes. At least they weren't in bikinis.