The Rum Diaries Part XXXIII

Actually this should have been number 28 but it turns out that remembering to write about rum is way harder than the act of buying and drinking it. Flor de Caña 7 year is the standard drink around Nicaragua and the best drop for price without doubt. 

When you order rum in a bar in Nicaragua you order by the bottle and it comes with a bucket of ice (and fancy ice tongs), wedges of lime and either coca-cola or soda water depending on your preference. Can you imagine ordering spirits by the bottle in Australia?? The thought of bottles of Bundy going over the bar is terrifying indeed.

Pimp my ride- the chicken bus gets a makeover

Generally speaking there are two ways to get from A to B throughout Latin America- tourist transport (with allocated seats, direct routes and of course higher ticket prices) and local transport, known as chicken buses for the simple reason that in addition to sharing your seat with one or perhaps two locals, you may also have a bag of chickens, a piglet and sometimes even a goat underfoot.

In Central America, chicken buses are retired American school buses, no doubt rather alarmed at the way their jubilee has turned out. Nicaraguans seem to like the classic yellow look (though the interior usually has at least a few glittery Jesus pictures and various overtures to the lord to protect passengers on board...not a bad idea considering driving habits in Nicaragua).

Guatemalans on the other hand, go all out in a country wide competition as to who has the sexiest wheels. For a population that is not particularly wealthy (and I don't imagine bus drivers to be in the upper echelon of Guatemalan earners), they invest an astonishing amount of time and money in their buses.

 

Back in the good ol' US of A, these buses probably carried 50 school kids at a time. Here in Central America, their carrying capacity is miraculously increased to about 100 to 150. I have never, ever seen a Central American bus driver refuse to pick up passengers because the bus was full. I wonder if it has ever happened?? It's a good thing all the windows are broken and permanently fixed in the open position or else suffocation would be a real threat.

The Best You've Never Heard Of- paradisaical Semuc Champey

After working for a Latin American travel company for five years, I had assumed I was in the know about most of the highlights, at least in passing. Maybe that's why Semuc Champey was so impressive- I had absolutely no idea that it even existed, let alone any expectations or preconceptions. 

After a quick squiz at a country map, we had originally planned to stop off in Coban as a logical pitstop between Tikal and Huehuetenango. Luckily we ran into a German guy we keep bumping into who recommended we stay in Lanquin instead at Zephyr Lodge. 

Arriving at the lodge after a hot, bumpy 8 hour ride, we were thrilled to see that he had been right on the money. The lodge itself clings to the side of a hill and has awesome views up and down the valley. Showers face west and have one virtually open wall so you could admire sunset whilst washing off the filth from the bus ride. The bar/restaurant runs on a tab system which is both a wonderfully easy and hideously dangerous way to part with cash. 

 

Lionel Richie supposedly stayed at the lodge a few years back, so there was quite a lot of random Richie memorabilia, and nightly 'All Night Long' singalongs (which after four hours of happy hour always seems like a good idea).

The area's biggest attraction is Semuc Champey, which sounds like a bit of a mouthful until you hear the English translation of the Mayan Q'eqchi name: where the river hides beneath the earth.  

The series of turquoise pools are fed by crystal springs and form a natural bridge under which the Cahabon River roars. Surrounded by dense jungle, the scene is nothing short of magical...truly one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. 

The pools natural formations and position in a steep valley make for some fun jumps, climbs and slides. We were happy to have paid for a guide who made jumping off bridges, trees and cliffs into the pools seem like a good idea. 

Martijn about to leap 15m to the pool below

Once again we lucked out a very cool group of people on our tour, who we then spent the next few days floating & drinking with.

On our second day we opted for something a little more laid-back. Not sure tubing really counts as an activity, particularly considering all the beers that floated along with us. Nevertheless, it was heaps of fun!! 

  

Virtually the only downside to the four days we spent at Zephyr was the moment of truth when the time came to pay the bill. To make matters even worse, it was itemized  so we couldn't even fool ourselves about what the vast majority of cash had been spent on. Cerveza, cerveza, cerveza, cerveza, margarita, pizza, cerveza, cerveza, breakfast burrito, coffee, cerveza.....and so on and so forth. Damn you tab system!! Damn you!!

The Rum Diaries Part XXXII

Hello Guatemala. We’ve already had the pleasure of testing the old Botran series of rum on the boat from Colombia to Panama…though I think it’s fair to say that Martijn’s memory of that particular bottle may be slightly skewed (having been muddled with two or three other bottles that day) so let’s call this our first TRUE Guatemalan rum experience.

Ron Botran 8 Años put us back about $9 and is a lovely little smooth drop of rum. Ideally I would have liked an ice cube or two (seeing as it’s 40 degrees and 98% humidity) but you know, you do what you gotta do. Looking forward to big brother 12 years sometime soon…

The Rum Diaries Part XXXI

*Note: due to some rather poor counting on my behalf this post was written under the impression that this was the thirtieth bottle of rum tested so far...turns out we are a bottle ahead and this is really number 31!!

Woohoo, the big 3-0. It's probably worth mentioning that this bottle was consumed about 3 weeks ago, so don't get the wrong idea when I follow this one up immediately with number 31 ok? It's not like we're pissheads or anything.

Ron Plata is made by the same genius who brought us Flor de Caña but is definitely the povo cousin in the rum family tree. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a pretty decent drop (especially at three to four dollars a bottle!) but it ain’t Flor de Caña. Good one to pick up for those nights of downing bottles in the plaza though...which, sadly, is what it often comes down to.

The Art of Relaxing: Little Corn Island

Remember the good old days when I used to write about doing stuff....you know, hiking, museums, cultural activities and the like. Well, it seems those days are over. Or at least, they are if the last seven days is anything to go by.

We flew out to Corn Island on Tuesday after spending the Easter weekend in Granada, gorging on gringo food (salads!!!! good bread!!!! and thai curry!!), swimming in the hostel pool and generally being sluggish.

  

We arrived on Big Corn Island and quickly high-tailed it to the panga for a boat across to Little Corn Island- a car-free, rastafaried, white sandy paradise surrounded by beautiful coral reef. Unlike the rest of Nicaragua, most people on the Corn Islands speak English, albeit a heavily accented creole which makes everyone sound like Bob Marley.

The chief pastime on Little Corn Island is 'chillin', aided by copious amounts of marijuana. When you ask someone what they've been up, you can pretty much guarantee that 'chillin' has formed at least 98% of the days program. So, what to do...when in Rome right?

The first day was our most active- a two hour snorkelling tour in the morning. We took a boat out to the reef and our guide showed us nurse sharks, eagle rays, sting rays and a huge variety of fish and coral.

Aside from that (and one afternoon where Martijn went scuba diving), we pretty much spent the entire week lying on the beach or in a hammock, swimming, eating (expensive) seafood and drinking rather a lot of icy cold beers.

 Uneventful, in a gloriously slothful way.