Slumming it in France

Last week we had the pleasure of upping the ante a little in the comfort stakes and holidaying with the fam in southern France. After a year of straw mattresses, grimy hostel kitchens and scary suicide showers we were pretty happy when we saw our little shack in Carennac. 

 

Carennac itself wasn't exactly an eyesore either, qualifying as one of France's 'most beautiful villages' in a region where pretty much every village is jigsaw puzzle perfect. Ahhhhh, we're a long way from the exposed electric cables and shattered pavements of Latin America. 

Of course, being in France, we set about consuming vast amounts of wine, stinking cheese and terrines of questionable origin almost immediately. Shopping is so much more an adventure when you don't speak the language. Of course, if you've ever looked at the ingredients list on a jar of terrine you'll realise that not knowing what you're eating can only heighten the joy of eating it.

When we weren't drinking wine and lazing by the pool we were off exploring the rather lovely Dordogne Valley. We checked out Rocamadour (which although it didn't make the cut for the most beautiful villages, wasn't exactly hideous), a medieval sanctuary, fortress and village all clinging precariously to the side of a mountain. 

 

Then we took to the Dodogne River itself and hired some kayaks to paddle downstream from Vayrac to Gluges. 

And then, rather randomly, we went to see monkeys!! Yes, monkeys. 

Despite having fuck all to do with France, the Monkey Forest in Rocamadour is way up on my favourite French stuff list. The sanctuary is home to around 130 Barbery Macaques, an endangered species from Northern Africa and it is FREAKING AWESOME. On arrival you get a handful of popcorn to feed to the monkeys (don't worry, no butter or salt) and they take it right out of your hand! And since the park has been responsible for reintroducing more than 600 individuals into the wild in Africa you even get to feel good about having so much fun!

The Rum Diaries Part XLIII

We'd been eyeing off Ron Zacapa Centenario throughout our stay in Guatemala but didn't pick up a bottle until we hit the duty free on the way to Cuba. Even then it was still USD$45. 

Given the price tag we were surprised to find out that Zacapa is actually a blended rum- made with rums aged between 6 and 23 years and aged at 2300m in barrels that previously aged American bourbon, sherry and Pedro Jimenez wines. 

Despite the fact that it can't claim single barrel origin, Zacapa is a seriously smooth and tasty rum which we have been savouring over the last month (yes, seriously, this bottle has lasted four weeks and counting) and sipping out of crystal glasses in honour of its quality. 

And, just in case you were wondering- that raffia ribbon around the bottle is actually a royal Mayan symbol representing the unity of time and space, earth and sky. Of course it is.

In which Russian turns out to be rather difficult

As it turns out, Russian is quite a hard language to learn. 

I think I could just about get over the whole Cyrillic thing, if it wasn't for the fact that some letters, whilst looking maddeningly like their English counterparts, turn out to have a completely different pronunciation. 

H- pronounced 'n' as in 'no'

P- pronounced 'r' as in 'run' 

Y- pronounced 'oo' as in 'boot'

It has taken me the last hour and a half to get the alphabet down (sort of) and muddle my way through numbers one to ten. Dutch is starting to look more appealing. 

In addition to learning the basics I'm going to memorize a few choice phrases which we're going to be using a lot.

Мы не говорим по-русски- we don't speak Russian

У вас есть водка?- Do you have vodka?

You bet your ass we've got vodka!!!!

The Rum Diaries Part XLII

Windmills? Shit-hot cheese? Men in wooden shoes? Yep. We're in Holland! But never fear, we brought enough rum from Cuba to sustain another four Rum Diary entries before the sweet, dark amber liquid runs dry and prices in euros force us into bargain bin beers at the Lidl instead.

 

We bought this bottle of Ron Santero 7 Años at Havana International Airport with our last remaining CUC's. What we didn't realise (though probably should have after three weeks in Cuba) was that we'd have to pay for the compulsory seal-able duty-free bag to put the damn thing in. A few awkward moments ensured while we searched our pockets & bags for hidden CUC's. In the end I gave the chica a euro which I'm pretty sure makes it the most expensive plastic bag on earth. 

This photo was taken on the train from Frankfurt to Rotterdam, but don't worry, despite months of socially acceptable public drinking even we're refined enough to realise that this probably wouldn't fly with the notoriously humorless German police.

Instead we waited until we were back in Oud Beijerland to crack this baby open. Maybe I've become a bit jaded but I give this a 'meh'. The thought of the one euro bag it came in didn't help me love it more (man, I've become such a tightass). Perhaps it just suffered from coming immediately after the ultra-cheap and tasty Paticruzados...this is the problem with so many rum diaries in quick succession!! 

The Rum Diaries Part XLI

Ok, don't worry, we are almost finished with the Cuban Rum Diaries...at least, the ones we drank on Cuban soil. There will be a few delayed entries from the multiple bottles we brought with us to Holland (cost-saving measures for pricey Europe).

We left steaming hot Santiago de Cuba for the slightly cooler town of Baracoa, located on the Bahia de Miel (Bay of Honey) and completely encircled by mountain ranges. 

The country side around the city is beautiful; it's just a shame you can't appreciate the many lovely views free of charge. For a communist country, Cubans are remarkably adept at parting you from your money. 

Enjoy the view. It cost us CUC$2 per person to look at it

We found our next bottle of rum at the local Casa de la Trova in town. A Cuban guy nearby was drinking it and we asked him what it was. The owner didn't look too impressed when we asked for the same- I think they make a bit more money off Havana Club- but we were very impressed indeed!

Los Marinos Paticruzados (Cross-legged sailors) is a rum made in Santiago de Cuba and sold for the measly price of CUC$1 per half bottle. At about one-fifth of the price of Havana Club or similar it's the cheapest rum we drank in Cuba- and was surprisingly good. Go under-the-counter rum!!

The Rum Diaries Part XL

It's official!! I am in uncharted roman numeral territory. I just had to google 40! Happily this Rum Diary entry is equal to such a momentous occasion. 

We bought this bottle of Ron Matusalem 15 Años as we listened to some live music in Santiago de Cuba, from some guy who worked in the factory. I hate to think how much it goes for normally (considering the Havana Club 15 year is around $150), but with the five finger discount we nabbed it for CUC$10. Everyone's a winner baby!! Especially us, because the rum was freaking tasty!!

Although we didn't love Santiago de Cuba, the bar where we found this rum was probably one of the better ones we went to in Cuba. It felt like a genuine local (as opposed to gringo-central) and had some pretty awesome anti-American artwork on the walls.

 

The Rum Diaries Part XXXIX

Trinidad is one of the most beautiful cities in Cuba- the streets are narrow and cobbled, the houses in the historic centre all unfailingly charming and brightly painted, and the pace unhurried (even by Cuban standards and let's face it, they're not exactly the busiest people on earth).

 

We cycled out to the Parque el Cubano and swum at the Javira Waterfall, took coco taxis to Playa Ancon and swum in the Caribbean and wandered all over town admiring the scenery. 

 

Being such a popular tourist destination, Trinidad is also home to some of Cuba's most persistent jinoteros (hustlers) so we'd invariably spend large portions of each day saying "no, gracias" to offers of cheap cigars (filled with sawdust), taxis, horse-riding tours, souvenirs and black market  Havana Club (ok, we said yes please to that one).

Ron Mulata is one of the average-priced aged rums that comes in at around the CUC$7 mark. While I loved the chica on the label, I was not a fan of this one at all. Mainly because it smelt like whiskey (which I loathe). Martijn had to finish this one off on his own. He was also not particularly enamored of it, but he's a good Dutchman and wasn't about to waste it!!